


Impulse

by happycemetery



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Eventual sexy time, FIATC, Fluff, Frerard, Humor, Idiots in Love, M/M, MCR
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-25
Updated: 2015-03-07
Packaged: 2018-03-15 05:19:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3435038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happycemetery/pseuds/happycemetery
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The next few seconds went by in a blur as Frank reached his decision. He wasn’t going to suffer living with pent up urges and desires anymore. Why try to squash something that felt so perfect? He loved Gerard. And if Frank really felt the drive to kiss him, then dammit, he was going to kiss him.</p><p>Idiots in love.  A Frerard tale.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_Just don’t think about it._  
  
Frank was always ever the talkative one during interviews, but on this occasion barely three words left his lips during the past fifteen minutes of this particular televised one.  At the moment Frank couldn’t have even told you what show he and the rest of his band mates were on.  He stared down at the microphone in his hands.  It was really quite unnecessary for him to even have one.  His mind was elsewhere, too busy to be bothered with answering trivial questions -never mind even bothering to pay attention.  All the words were blending together into one massive continuous droning noise, which he was finding ever so easy to ignore.  
  
 _Just look at the mic.  Stare at it.  Twiddle it.  Just ignore him.  Don’t look at him whatever you do._  
  
Out of the droning sprang forth that familiar voice.  The voice in particular that Frank was trying to ignore.  But he so very quickly lost the battle, and all he could hear now was Gerard’s voice filling his ears.  What Gerard was actually saying was completely and utterly lost to Frank.  It didn’t matter what Gerard was saying anyway, his voice alone had become increasingly intoxicating enough for Frank.  In fact, anything and everything about Gerard in the past two months was only making Frank’s heart race more and more, making something in the pit of his stomach ache.

 _La la la la la.  Don’t listen to him.  Don’t listen._  
  
Their last tour had long since been over, and so the cramped quarters of basically living on top of each other was over.  And this was something Frank was usually very thankfully for.  He loved touring, but by the end of it, personal space was just something he desperately needed.  It had been different this time though.  Frank was desperate for something else.  Desperate for contact, and that contact specifically with Gerard.  It seemed no matter how many times they met up -whether it be friendly visits just the two of them or with others, or gatherings for band business- it was never enough for Frank.  He needed closeness with his friend, and Frank had been utterly baffled as to where the hell this feeling was coming from.    
  
Those stage kissing and groping antics during the last tour, that was what the craving had quickly escalated to.  They had been jokes at first, something funny, something of the moment and to set the crowd off.  But with the tour stopping so had the very open kisses and touches, and it was like Frank was going through some sort of bizarre withdrawal.  He had laughed at the thought, but at the same time that was the only thing that made any sense to him.    
  
 _No you idiot.  Don’t look at him._  
  
Frank would walk into a room and immediately gravitated toward Gerard.  He’d become antsy immediately.  Fingers would twitch, feet would tap, knees would bounce all as he fought to keep himself under control of what he really craved to do instead of just sitting next to Gerard and friendly talking.  Time went by and worst the urges got.  Frank’s belief that they would eventually fade away was fleeting.  He told himself it was wrong, but even now under the eyes of his band mates, an interviewer, a small studio audience and crew, and however many people watching at home.. Frank was steadily on his way to a mental breaking point over the very man he was sitting next to.  
  
Out of the blue it seemed, Frank felt Gerard’s hand touch over his.  That mere touch sent tingles through his fingers that shot up his arm then throughout the rest of his body.  An uncontrollable shiver passed through him, and he hoped to god no one noticed.  Gerard had merely taken Frank’s microphone from him, his apparently malfunctioning.  
  
 _Stop looking at him.  You’re just making it harder on yourself._  
  
He was bouncing his knees, drumming his fingers on his thighs, and rocking slightly back and forth in his seat.. anything to distract himself somewhat from letting his body do what it really wanted.  If anything, he supposed he just looked like he really had to pee to anyone who was paying attention to him.  
  
 _This stupid thing has got to be over soon.  Just stay strong, Iero.  Stay strong._  
  
Then out of the world he was almost completely oblivious to, Frank heard his name break through the mumble.  He stopped all his movement and blinked, looking around as he nervously bit at his lip where a lip ring once resided.  All eyes where on him expectantly, and Gerard was holding the mic up to Frank’s mouth.  He must have gotten asked a question.  He was going to look like an idiot, though Frank was sure he already did to a degree.    
  
 _Fuck. ..Just play it cool.  Think of something.  Making them laugh._  
  
“Sorry? I zoned out a little.  I really gotta piss like you wouldn’t believe.”  A somewhat goofy grin was accompanied by his signature giggle.  And there it was, making fun of yourself before anyone else could really has a way of getting you out of embarrassing predicaments.  Sure you look foolish to a point, but at least people can see that you’re confident enough to laugh at yourself.  Frank’s little comment sparked laughter from the audience.  From Ray and Bob and Mikey ..and Gerard.  
  
Gerard’s laugh.  More intoxicating than his voice.  Frank couldn’t help but look to him and stare, and just continue to stare.  Frank knew to lock eyes with him would be a big mistake.  Gerard had those kind of eyes you could get lost in, the kind that looked like they were piercing you and gazing right into your soul.  Frank’s body was twitching again as he tried to keep his crazy urges under control, but his mistake was made and going to cost him. Frank was starting to shake.

 _Don’t.. You don’t really want to.. You don’t wanna kiss him.... Kiss him..  Kiss. Him.._  
  
The next few seconds were a blur to Frank as he had finally reached that snapping point.  All those pent up urges and desires just became too much to hold back anymore.  There was no time at all to really think about what he was doing, for in an instant he was out of his chair and straddling Gerard’s lap.  He held Gerard’s face in his hands, that face’s shocked expression going unnoticed to Frank as he quickly leaned in to press their lips together firmly.  
  
The kiss was nothing romantic or tonguey or heated.  Simply lips against lips, but that’s all Frank needed to feel like he was in heaven for those three seconds it lasted.  Even though Frank was lost in the feel that he had craved so desperately for, he could not ignore the predominantly female cheers ringing in his ears.  And that acted like quite the slap to the face to bring Frank back to his senses.  He was in the middle of an interview.. In front of an audience.. In front of cameras.. And he just pounced on his best friend’s lap without warning and kissed him.  
  
 _Oh god.._  
  
Frank pulled away from Gerard abruptly, and they merely stared at each other both mirroring looks of shock.  But out of the two, it was Frank who looked absolutely terrified.  He was frozen in place for what seemed like hours to him, but really only a second before he scrambled off of Gerard’s lap and ran from the set.  His heart was pounding and his head was swimming; Frank couldn’t believe that he had actually just done that.  
  
 _Fine fucking place to lose it, Frank.  Shit._  
  
He and Gerard had shared tons of kisses on stage.  But that was just it.  On stage.  It was just part of the show.  What Frank had just done was entirely different.. A kiss forced upon Gerard out of some crazy urge that had spiraled out of control.  How was he going to explain himself.. especially when Frank couldn’t really understand it himself?  He wasn’t in love with Gerard.  He didn’t want any sort of relationship with the man other than the strong friendship they already shared.  Frank just craved the contact.  Craved to touch and to be touched.  Craved to kiss.  Craved it so much it made his body quiver.  And all of this only for Gerard.  
  
Frank found his way back to the dressing room and let himself sink heavily down into the soft cushions of the plush beige couch in the back of the room.  What he really wanted to do was find a hole and hide there. But on top of that, what he _really_ wanted to do was kiss Gerard again.  
  
 _Fuck, this is not healthy._


	2. Chapter 2

Frank didn’t know how Gerard or the rest of the guys would be able to play off his crazy little impulsive stunt, but at the moment he didn’t care. He was just dreading the moment when that interview was over and his band mates came back to the dressing room. He contemplated just leaving the building, but what was the point really? It wasn’t like he could hide from them forever. He’d have to face them and explain.. at least to Gerard. And so it was like Frank’s heightened dread played a part in making that dressing room door open. In piled his band mates -his friends- all honing their confused gazes at Frank. He cast them all a weak smile in his poor attempt of nonchalance before looking back down to his folded hands in his lap.  
  
_Maybe they won’t bring it up.._  
  
“What was all that about?” Ray took a seat next to Frank and clapped his hand on Frank’s shoulder.  
  
_...Dammit._  
  
There they all were.. Ray, Bob, Mikey, and Gerard all sitting around him. Their eyes were glued to Frank waiting for a response, but Frank hadn’t a clue as to what to say. He felt so uneasy under their stares, Gerard’s especially. They had all always been able to talk to each other, but this was beyond embarrassing. They weren’t going to understand, because Frank himself didn’t understand.  
  
_What am I supposed to say? Sorry guys, I’ve just had this uncontrollable urge for months now to throw myself on Gerard and kiss him.. Oops..?_  
  
“Um, sorry. I was just being stupid, and I really did have to pee..” Frank looked to all of them, forcing a bit of a silly grin in hopes that they’d believe his little lie. No such luck.  
  
“Just being stupid?” Gerard perked a brow at Frank. “We know you do crazy shit every now and then.. But that during an interview? Really what was that for?  Some cry for attention?  Is everything okay? I mean, we've noticed you’ve been acting.. a little differently lately.”  
  
Frank kept his gaze glued to his lap, praying for the couch to swallow him so he could just escape from this awkward situation. But life was unfair as the sofa remained an inanimate object and not a swirling vortex portal to freedom that he so hoped it could be. He stole a glance at Gerard and immediately regretted it. Frank started to fidget in his seat as the longing to be closer to the man began to grow, and almost unknowingly to himself, Frank started inching himself a little closer to the end of the couch just so he could be closer to Gerard, who was sitting in a chair right by it. They were all still staring at him, and Frank did his best to calm his antsy movements. He had to say something at least somewhat truthful.  
  
“Listen, that was just something stupid.  Really.  I'm just a fucking idiot with a dumb sense of humor. And.. I guess I’ve only been acting different ‘cause there’s just something really weird and stupid and embarrassing going on with me, and I don’t really wanna talk about it.” There, he admitted something was wrong, and that should tide his friends over at least for a little while. They’d respect his privacy and understand his want to deal with it on his own, but Frank knew if he couldn’t start acting like normal soon, they’d be on his case about this again until he spilled his guts. That could not happen.  
  
Frank had brought his attention back down to his fidgeting hands in his lap. He ignored the whispers shared between his friends, and when he heard the shuffling of feet and the door open and close, he let himself relax back against the cushions, thinking for sure that they had left.  
  
“So you want to tell me what’s really up?” Gerard’s voice broke to the silence, making Frank snap his head up. The others were gone, but there stood Gerard in front of the closed door.  
  
“Not really, no.” It took all of Frank’s willpower to drag his eyes away from Gerard, the while mentally pleading with his best friend to just leave. Unfortunately for Frank, Gerard did the opposite and moved back across the room, sitting down next to him. Close. Too close. Frank clasped his hands together and started twiddling his thumbs before his hands had the chance to start wandering on their own volition.  
  
_Stay boys, stay._  
  
“I think I have the right to know. You embarrassed the fuck out of me out there.”  
  
“Sorry, I didn’t mean too.”  
  
“Then what did you mean?” Frank looked up to see Gerard frowning.. maybe even scowling. “What kind of problem would you have that would involve you doing what you did and making me feel like an idiot? Did I fucking upset you somehow and this is your way of getting back at me? I didn’t want to bitch you out in front of the guys, but Jesus Frankie, what the hell was that?”  
  
_He hates you. Look what you did._  
  
“I’m sorry,” Frank’s eyes were desperately pleading for forgiveness. “I told you, I'm just fucking stupid.  I’m not getting back at you for anything. I didn’t mean it. It was an accident.”  
  
“Jumping on my lap was an accident?  Kissing me was an accident?  Running off was an accident?  Tell me, Frankie, do you enjoy fucking with my head?”  
  
“What? No! I mean, I.. shit, I didn’t mean any of this.”  
  
“I told you, doing this kind of shit is one thing during the shows, but you crossed the line and then fucking spit in my face.”  
  
Frank was completely baffled as to why he was getting this reaction out of Gerard. He understood why Gerard would be mad for embarrassing him, but how had he spit in his face? These insane urges of his had successfully spiraled out of control enough to begin to tear at their friendship. Frank felt like a complete asshole, and worse yet he felt completely helpless. He just wanted to take a hold of Gerard and kiss him until he made his friend feel better.  
  
_No! That’s what got you into this mess. Fix it, Iero!_  
  
“Gerard, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get you upset in the slightest.” Frank got lost in Gerard’s eyes again, and in those eyes shone hurt. Frank felt worse seeing that hurt and that urge to make Gerard feel better by the means Frank so greatly desired sprang up again with even more force. Frank was lost to the impulse and seized Gerard in his arms and kissed him hard on the lips. It only lasted but a second before Gerard roughly pushed Frank away. He stared down at Frank, shocked and clearly angered.  
  
“What the hell are you--”  
  
“Shit, I’m sorry! I’m sorry!" Frank buried his face into his hands and sunk back into the couch. “I didn’t mean to. I just.. I couldn’t help it.”  
  
“Couldn’t help it?”  
  
_Just tell him the truth._  
  
“Yeah..” Frank pealed his hands away from his face, but kept his eyes focused on the floor. This was entirely embarrassing, but with a big mental kick Frank forced himself to blurt it out. “I’ve sorta been having this problem for the passed couple months where.. every time I’m around you I just.. wanna be really close, like I need to be.. And I just feel like I need to kiss you and stuff and.. It’s just been getting worse and worse, and I guess it just kinda got to be too much today, and I sorta exploded. And.. and fuck shit, sorry.”  
  
Silence. Frank was absolutely mortified now that he’d freaked Gerard out. He feared he had just made this all worse. But then the silence was abruptly shattered as Gerard’s laughter filled Frank’s ears. Frank lifted his head up, looking to Gerard first with shock, then with anger, and ending with his eyes brimming with tears as the look of desperation and frustration took over.  
  
“This isn’t funny!” Frank yelled. And yeah, maybe it was a little to a certain degree, but Frank was at his wit’s end about it.  
  
Gerard did stop and his amused smile subsided enough to show empathetic expression. “Sorry, Frankie,” he placed a hand on Frank’s shoulder, rubbing it comfortingly. “You have to admit though, it’s kind of nuts.”  
  
“It is fucking nuts, and it’s ruining my life.” Frank took hold of Gerard’s hand off his shoulder and brought it up to his cheek, beginning to nuzzle the back side of Gerard’s hand with his eyes closed in search of more comfort. But when Frank quickly realized he totally lost himself to another impulse, he tossed Gerard’s hand away, and again Frank covered his face with his hands in embarrassment mumbling “I’m sorry" over and over.  
  
“Shh, it’s okay. How is this ruining you’re life?”  
  
“You hate me now.”  
  
“No, I don’t.” Gerard was going to put his hand of Frank’s shoulder again, but thought better of it. He felt bad for Frank being genuinely distressed and embarrassed over this, but he had to hold back a laugh too. This situation was far too bizarre. “But what does all this mean, Frankie?”  
  
“I don’t know,” Frank sighed heavily. “It’s just some weird obsession or something. I don’t know what the hell is going on.” Gerard held this thoughtful and hopeful sort of look that Frank seemed to miss as he continued his distressing ramble. “I’m sorry about all this really. I don’t know how to make it stop. Really, I don’t know what’s—”  
  
“Frank, calm down. Everything’s going to be fine.”  
  
“How? Now things are all _weird_. Now you know I’ve turned into some kind of uncontrollable pervy Gerard craver. It’s never gonna be normal between us again.”  
  
“Frank, tell me, when the hell has our friendship ever been normal?”  
  
Frank couldn’t help but crack a small smile. He pulled Gerard’s into a hug, nuzzling his face in the crook of Gerard’s neck and placed a small kiss to the soft skin. “You always know what to say to make me smile.. Shit!” Frank became aware of what he was doing and was keen of pulling himself away, but Gerard put his own arm around him, holding Frank in place.  
  
“No, it’s okay. I don’t mind.” Gerard smile a little, almost a sort of nervousness behind it.  
  
“How can you not mind? I’m like a step away from molesting you.” Frank really thought it was best if he got as far away from Gerard as possible, but yet he tightened his grip around the man and buried his nose into Gerard’s dark locks. Frank breathed in deeply, letting out a small content sigh before quickly retracting away with wide eyes. “Sorry!”  
  
_Dammit, Iero, control yourself!_  
  
“Really, it’s okay. I just think I need to tell you something.. kind of a confession of my own. I think.. I think it might make you feel better..” Gerard was looking very nervous yet held this sort of conviction in his eyes as well. Frank listened on silently, not having a clue what his friend would have to say. Their eyes were locked, and Gerard took a deep breath before he spoke “We’re best friends, and you know I love you, Frankie. And I’ve kinda been keeping from you that those feeling have changed.”  
  
“Oh god, you do hate me.”  
  
“No! No. That just came out sorta wrong, I guess.” Gerard showed a nervous soft smile and stroked a hand down Frank’s cheek gently. Frank nearly felt himself melt into a puddle. “What I’m trying to say is.. that _I love you_.”  
  
Frank immediately stopped breathing, his eyes widening a bit and his jaw dropping open slightly. He wasn’t expecting that, and certainly wasn’t expecting to feel his heart leap when he heard Gerard say those words.  
  
_What am I supposed to say now?_  
  
He did not love Gerard that way, no. Frank already came to that conclusion. It was a ‘just friends’ sort of love, and Frank just happened to also crave Gerard in a physical way. That’s all it was.  A totally completely normal friendship.  Definitely.  
  
_Then how come him saying that gave me butterflies?_  
  
“Shit. I shouldn’t have said that.” Gerard snapped Frank out of his daze. Frank hadn’t responded at all to Gerard’s proclamation. He just sat there silent, looking shocked and brooding, and hell if Frank knew for how long. He could only imagine how dejected he made Gerard feel. “I just thought maybe with you acting this way.. I.. God, never mind. This whole conversation never happened.” Gerard untangled himself Frank and quickly stood up from the couch. “I’ll see you later.”  
  
_Gerard just fucking confessed his fucking love for you, and you just sat there and said nothing? Way to make your best friend feel like an idiot again._  
  
Frank felt like complete shit. He just sat and watched Gerard leave the room, continuing to stare blankly at the closed door long after the man left. The thought to run after him came much too late, Frank figured. He didn’t even know what he would say to the man anyway. Things really were going to be weird now just like he feared. Frank sunk deeper against the couch and sighed heavily as he ran his hands down his face. Things had just gotten way more complicated. If only Frank could sort though the jumble in his heart and mind and figure out where his emotions lie.  
  
_I messed everything up._  



	3. Chapter 3

Weeks had gone by, and it seemed apparent to Frank that Gerard was avoiding him.  They had barely spoken to each other since the day of that accursed interview, and Frank was a mental and emotional mess.  It wasn’t just those bizarre urges and cravings for Gerard anymore.  Frank just really missed him.  It was like that closeness they always seemed to share had faded away.    
  
Gerard would have to see more of him whether he liked it or not now though.  A new US tour was starting with its first show tomorrow night, and already the band was crammed in their bus, heading across state.  It was back into the motion that is life on the road.  Tomorrow morning there would be a quick interview to talk about the tour.. and blah blah.  Frank was amazed he even was able to pay enough attention to remember that much during the discussion with Brian over the scheduled itinerary of the next couple days.  Usually Frank was beyond excited when tours started up, but this time was different.  Yes, he was happy to be back out there playing shows.  It’s what he lived for.  And yes, he was happy he was going to be close to Gerard like he so longed to be, but nothing was going to be like it used to.  Things were going to continue to be so awkward between Gerard and himself.  Their friendship had officially been affected by strange yearnings and confessions.  What were the shows going to be like now?  
  
Frank was in his bunk with a Harry Potter book in hand.  Rereading the entire series during quiet downtime was going to be the ritual of this new tour, but this plan was already proving a difficult task.  Frank was only on the third page and had probably reread the same sentence about twenty times without actually ever absorbing what it said.  Frank couldn’t take his mind off of this situation with Gerard.  Couldn’t take his mind off of Gerard period.  
  
_You know, all you ever do is think about him._  
  
“I know..” Frank sighed, giving up the hope of escaping his problems for the time being by getting lost in a world of magic and wizards. He closed his book and just started vacantly at the cover.  
  
_About kissing him._  
  
“I know..”

 _About just being close._  
  
“I know..”  
  
_About him holding your hand and longing for him to tell you he loves you again._  
  
“I kn— Wait, I do not!”  
  
_You really should just admit it._  
  
“No!  This is just some weird physical thing, really.”  
  
_You know it’s more than that.  You love him.  You always have.  You’re just too scared to admit it._  
  
“I—”  
  
“Hey Frank, is everything okay in there?”  The sudden sound of Bob’s voice just outside the curtain disrupted Frank’s thoughts.  “I heard you yell.”  
  
_Shit.  Have I really been having a fucking conversation out loud with myself?_  
  
“No, I’m fine.  I was just talking on my phone.”  
  
_Nice save._  
  
“..I just saw your phone in the back room..” Came Bob’s skeptical response.  
  
_Fuck._  
  
“Uh.. Fine, I was reading out loud with some fucking enthusiasm,” Frank served the silly lie.  “I’m gonna try to sleep for a bit.  Wake me up when we get there.”  
  
“Sure.  There’s supposed to be this little store and gas station a couple miles up ahead, though.  I was coming to tell you that we’re planning to stop there.  So if you wanna get out or get anything we’ll be there in a few minutes.”  
  
“Yeah okay, thanks.”  
  
Frank sighed when he heard Bob’s footsteps take their leave.  Getting off the bus sounded like a good idea.  He already felt cramped, cramped with his thoughts and emotions berating him.  It was a feeling all too familiar.  Frank went through this before, years ago.  He thought he was falling for Gerard back then, but there were too many other things to consider to just go acting on those feelings.  For one: rejection, and then talk about awkwardness.  And even _if_ they did end up getting together, what if it didn’t work out?  Either way a friendship and possibly the band could have been fucked up.  Frank wouldn’t have just been playing with his own life if he had come clean to Gerard back then.  There was the potential to put a strain on and ruining things for all his best friends.  The band had become Frank’s life, and Gerard –and Mikey, Ray, and Bob for that matter some of the most important people in his life.  That was nothing to be risked.  
  
Besides, it had just been a little crush anyway.  Nothing more.  And Frank had told himself that so many times that he had managed to convince himself that it was true.  Not a second thought about it through the years, and now finally Frank realized he snapped because of it.  Those pent up emotions weren’t going to stand being neglected and lied to anymore and had broken out from where they had been buried for so long.

 _You really did love him back then._  
  
“I still do..” Frank whispered to himself quietly.  
  
  
The bus was stopped, and Frank wasn’t sure if it just did recently or if he had been oblivious to it being parked for a while.  Either way the bus was already empty.  Frank hurried out of his bunk and hastily slipped his shoes on from where they had been stashed away.  He stepped off that bus on a mission.  He needed to find Gerard, and they needed to talk.  Frank wasn’t sure what he would say.  He was still scared about coming clean with his feelings, but now with Gerard’s already put out there and things already at that awkward state Frank feared.. maybe, just maybe taking a risk this time around would be the best thing to do.  
  
Frank scanned the area and of all the people loitering about in the parking lot, none of them were Gerard.  Stuffing his hands into the pockets of his hoodie, Frank hurriedly made his way into the store.  It was basically a convenient store on the grandiose side with small Subway and Dunkin' Donuts areas.  Frank’s eyes were immediately drawn to the Dunkin' Donuts, because Dunkin' Donuts meant coffee.  And coffee meant Gerard would surely be there buying some.  Frank’s flawless connection was right on the nose.  There was Gerard in that goddamn leather jacket that only seemed to skyrocket Frank’s attraction for him every time the man wore it.  Gerard was just walking away from the counter, taking a sip of his coffee, and their eyes met.  Frank quickly started to walk toward Gerard, but Gerard didn’t seem to want to deal with any sort of confrontation.  He quickly dashed into the aisle he was nearest, and Frank frowned.  He followed after Gerard and saw his friend practically jogging down the aisle and taking a quick turn to the right at the end.  Frank full on sprinted, not caring at all about the looks from watchers-on at the ridiculous game of chase going on through the store aisles.  Gerard wasn’t moving as fast as he could, perhaps mindful to not spill his coffee, so Frank was catching up to him quite easily.  Frank was right there, almost able to grab a hold of Gerard’s shoulder when Gerard quickly pushed into the men’s restroom.  Gerard was on the inside pushing the door with his shoulder to get it closed, but Frank was just on the outside, both hands firmly placed on the door in an attempt to get it open enough to slip inside.  
  
“Just.. let me.. in..” Frank ground out through clenched teeth, all of his might going into keeping that door from shutting on him.  
  
“Frank.. you’re being.. crazy.. Leave!” Gerard ground out through his exertion as well.  The coffee was dropped to the floor, and he pushed at the door with more force.    
  
The game of strength continued, and very slowly but surely Gerard was working on getting the win.  Now using all his might, Gerard’s bigger and slightly stronger frame was inching that door closer and closer to being closed.  Frank was struggling, his feet sliding backward on the tiled floor as Gerard kept pushing harder at the door.  The logic of the situation was rather lost to Frank.  It wasn’t like Gerard could hide in that bathroom from him forever.  He’d have to come out.  He’d have to get back on the bus.  They could talk then, at anytime during the rest of the tour.  But Frank felt this unexplained urgency racing through him.  He _needed_ to fix things between himself and Gerard.  Frank _needed_ things to be right again, and he _needed_ it to happen now.  
  
“I just need.. to talk.. to you..” Frank pleaded.  
  
“I don’t.. need a pity chat..” Gerard pushed harder.  
  
“That’s.. not it..” A hard shove back.  
  
“Then everything’s.. fine.. Just go..ahh!”  A shove back and then a loss of footing on a bathroom floor slick with spilled coffee.  
  
Gerard fell back away from the door, landing hard on his backside, and in that instant where his fighting resistance was gone, the door whipped open and in flew Frank, everything happening too fast for him to be able to stop himself from falling forward.  Frank landed face down, his upper body at least cushion from the fall by landing on top of Gerard’s torso; Frank legs however ending up lying in the dark puddle of coffee.  If it weren’t for that disgusting feeling of halfway lying in a hot puddle, Frank would have blissfully stayed atop of Gerard for as long as the man let him get away with it.  But a hot puddle was his current situation, and Frank scrambled off Gerard and on to his feet as quickly as possible.  He stood staring down at his jeans; the darkened areas on the denim from the liquid making it look oh too much like Frank had just pissed his pants.  
  
“Fuck..” Frank murmured, and then there was laughter coming from the floor.  Like Gerard had completely forgotten about their previous ‘battle’ that had led them to this, he looked at Frank and his ‘pee pants’ and just laughed.  Laughed hard.  
  
“Shut up.  This is your fucking fault,” Frank attempted to glare daggers, but it was no good.  The laughter was infectious, and how could Frank not giggle at himself?  
  
The laughter lasted several drawn out seconds before Frank snapped back to the reality of why they were in the situation in the first place.  Frank turned to close the door, locking it too for added measure.  He finally had Gerard alone, and he’d be damned if he just let his friend leave after all that.  He turned back to Gerard and extended a hand to help him off the floor.  “You don’t have to keep ignoring and avoiding me like this, you know?”  
  
Gerard frowned, yet took Frank’s proffered hand, accepting the help to get back on his feet but pulled his hand away right after.  “I don’t want things to be this way, Frank,” Gerard kept his eyes glued on the mess of a floor.  “It’s just.. you don’t know what it’s been like for me.  I never should have opened my fucking mouth that day.”  
  
Frank’s heart ached hearing the dejectedness in Gerard’s voice.  He reached for Gerard’s hand again, holding it in both of his own, and Gerard looked back up with sorrowful eyes.  “No, I’m glad you did.”  Frank smiled softly, giving Gerard’s hand a squeeze.  He was trying to play this off cool.  Well, as cool as one could about to profess their love in a public restroom.  And cool was also proving to be difficult with Frank’s heart beating a thousand beats per second.  Actually going through with spilling out the words he knew that needed to be said was making that fear flare up again.  His heart was about to explode out of his chest at any moment, Frank could feel it and half wondered if Gerard could hear the pounding himself.  Regardless of the fear though, Frank couldn’t let it consume him this time around.  He was going to fix things, and he was going to be true to his heart.  
  
_Just say it.  Fix it now._  
  
“Listen, I’m sorry I left you hanging that day.  That things have gotten so bad because I’ve just been a scared little boy.  I should have told you this before.  I should have told you this years ago.. I.. I love you..”  And with those words a heavy weight lifted from Frank’s chest and shoulders.  He squeezed Gerard’s hand again before abandoning it to wrap his arms around Gerard in a tight embrace.  Frank eyes were tearing over from the overflow of emotion from really honest and truly accepting his feelings.  “I’m sorry.. I was scared.  I was scared it wouldn’t work out.  That I’d ruin things between us.. the band.  I’m sorry.  I love you, Gerard.  I fucking love you so much.”  Those words couldn’t be said enough now  
  
The nervousness behind the pounding of Frank’s heart was replaced with happiness when Gerard returned that tight embrace.  “It’s alright,” Gerard soothed. “I’ve been a chicken shit about this for the longest time.  I love you too, Frankie.”  
  
And then their lips met in a kiss that was far from perfect, a bit sloppy and needy and with teeth clinking together, but this kiss.. this kiss was the first one that Frank and Gerard ever shared that held so much passion behind it.  It took their breaths away and ended with Frank backed up against the wall, and Gerard’s body pressed close to his.  And they stayed that way, held close and with their eyes closed and foreheads resting against the others in an affectionate sort of way.  
  
“Gerard..” Frank broke the content silence with a soft tone.  “Promise me you’ll always be my best friend no matter what happens.”  
  
Gerard pulled away slightly, just enough so he and Frank could look each other properly in the eye.  His hands moved to hold at either side just under Frank’s jaw, the pads of Gerard’s thumbs gently rubbing over Frank’s cheeks.  “I promise,” he smiled, and Frank felt like his fucking heart was flying at the simple tender kiss that Gerard then placed to his lips.  “Come on then,” Gerard smirked a bit after eying the coffee stain on Frank’s jeans.  “Let’s get you back to the bus and outta those pants.”  
  
  



	4. Chapter 4

Three days of living on that bus, and three days of keeping a secret. Keeping their relationship hidden wasn’t something Gerard and Frank talked about. It was more like an unspoken decision that Gerard had instantly made the second he and Frank stepped out of that bathroom. A decision Frank went along with and didn’t argue despite his dislike of it. Three days then, where only quick kisses could be stolen in brief seconds of privacy. Where hands discretely searched out to hold each other under the cover of tables. Where ‘I love you’ was dangerously mouthed to one another with soft loving smiles when they believed no one was paying attention.  
  
Despite Gerard’s want to keep things quiet and not even give a hint something could be going on between them, Frank stayed practically glued to Gerard’s side. Luckily Frank had always been a bit of a cuddle bug, so when the group would lounge about it was worth no second glance when Frank laid his head down upon Gerard’s shoulder or lap. These back-to-back shows, though, were of course risqué as ever. The playful licking, groping, grinding, kissing.. Frank couldn’t help but find it odd and a bit annoying that in front of crowds of hundreds he and Gerard could act so open.. But just around friends it had to be a secret?  
  
Frank wasn’t really mad at Gerard per say, but really just frustrated with the situation even if it had only been a few days. If it were up to Frank he would be doing the preverbal cliché screaming his love from the mountain tops. Hell, screaming it into his microphone during a show. Frank was determined to talk to Gerard about this, and it was going to happen now. Tonight’s show was an amazing adrenaline rush as usual, but with its end marked at last a night spent in a comfortable hotel and the following day off. Frank had greeted that hotel room, particularly the queen sized bed, with grateful eyes. It was just a matter of showering and getting into a clean shirt and lounge pants. Once all settled he would march right over to Gerard’s room next door and convince his boyfriend this hiding shit just wasn’t sitting right with him.  
  
That was the plan at least.  
  
Gerard had somewhat beaten Frank to the punch. Frank was just opening the door to leave, and there was Gerard standing outside, arm raised up like he was just readying himself to knock. Before Frank could say anything Gerard was smothering Frank’s lips with his own. Locked in that deep kiss, Gerard walked them a few paces inside the room, kicking the door shut behind him.  
  
“God,” Gerard murmured, “it feels like I’ve been waiting forever to get you alone.” And as Gerard kissed him heatedly again, Frank completely forgot about the little chat he was so determined to have. He was too caught up in the moment to worry about that now. Frank would be lying if he didn’t admit that the past few days had felt like an eternity waiting to be alone with Gerard too.  
  
“So,” Gerard spoke low in Frank’s ear. “I think maybe we should make the most of this time while we got it, don’t you think, baby?” That pet name only made Frank’s stomach flip, and an added excitement rushed through him over what he knew Gerard wanted to do. Sex. It was obvious. This would be a first together; the only thing coming remotely close was a very heated make out session in Gerard’s bunk one night. They had almost gotten caught, and Gerard didn’t want to risk trying to do anything in the bus again. Though Frank still held firm to the belief that the look on Mikey’s face would have been hilariously priceless and worth it.  
  
“What did you have in mind?” Frank played coy.  
  
“I was thinking maybe we could go lay down in that big comfy bed under the blankets... have a repeat of that kiss... take off your PJs..."  
  
_..Ravage you senseless..._  
  
"I think I'm down for all that," Frank grinned. "If you're lucky I might even let you take my clothes off for me." He threw Gerard a wink.  
  
"If I'm lucky?" Gerard quirked a playful brow. "Oh, you're gonna be a tease now?" The man shook his head, pealing his shirt off as he walked over to the bed, yanking back the blankets and sheets and climbing in.

  
A hand went to prop itself at Frank's hip, putting him in somewhat of a diva-like pose. "First of all, I'll tease you all I want, and you'll like it. And second, you just walk away into bed without even trying of rip my clothes off..? I think I should be offended."  
  
"No, no, no.  Gerard Way owns the diva stance, honey." He tutted jokingly. "And don't you be offended because you're going to take them off. Do a little striptease for me. Pul-leease Frankie,” he pouted, making that all-powerful puppy dog face.  
  
Frank groaned. He didn’t want to do this, but so help him, Gerard knew his weakness and Frank couldn’t find the power to say no. "Making that face at me is playing dirty, you know..” But Frank hooked his thumbs at the hem of his t-shirt, pulling it up ever so slightly, starting to sway his hips. He only managed to do this for a few seconds, however, before not being able to help himself from hunching forward in silent laughter. "Gerard, I don't think I can do this without feeling like an idiot."  
  
"Oh, fuck you Frank!" Gerard threw a pillow at him, a disappointed look on his face. "You were doing so good, too. All sexy and shit..."  
  
"But I feel so stupid.." Frank rubbed his hands down his reddening face before picking up the pillow from the floor and tossing it back on to the bed. "Tell you what, I'll suck up the giggles and do it, but you just remember you so owe me HUGE for this."  
  
“Don’t worry, baby, I’m sure I can think of a way to repay you,” Gerard smirked devilishly and rested back comfortably against the pillows propped up against the headboard of the bed.  
  
Frank rolled his eyes, but really he was excited for the ‘payment’ of his little show. Again he took his shirt in his hands, bringing it up and slowly revealing the tattooed skin hidden underneath. "..The things I do for you.." he muttered, rolling his hips slowly and seductively side to side. Higher and higher the shirt was lifted until it was up and over his head. And in the true cliché striptease fashion, Frank whipped the shirt around over his head as he moved in a slow sultry circle before tossing the clothing in Gerard's direction. His thumbs hooked under the waistband of his pants, and Frank moved a bit closer to the bed. He dipped his pants down teasingly as he kept his hips swaying, a little smirk playing on his face as he saw that Gerard was absolutely loving this. Frank was most definitely becoming comfortable with what he was doing.  
  
He was hot shit, and he knew it.  
  
Gerard’s eyes were completely glued to the sight before him. "You know, if I didn't know better I'd say you have a side career as a male stripper." He smirked, rubbing a hand at his inner thigh  
  
"I'm a man of many talents, what can I say.." Down with the pants, off with the pants. Now just in his boxers, Frank climbed onto the bed, standing so a leg was placed on either side of Gerard's body. He rubbed his hands down his chest and then on down his thighs as he dipped down and moved his hips, the smirk on Frank face widening.  
  
Gerard leaned back, staring wide-eyed at Frank. He went ahead and ran his own hands up the back of Frank's legs, coming to grip at the man's ass before giving it a playful slap. "Come on now, you're almost done."  
  
"If you really want 'em off.." Frank leaned down, stroking a finger down Gerard's cheek and licking the tip of his nose, "..then take 'em off."  
  
Gerard apparently didn’t need to be told twice. He reached up and pulled down Frank's underwear, an appreciative look in his eyes as they raked over Frank’s body in all its glory. “Beautiful..” Gerard breathed. Frank just smiled. There was no feeling uncomfortable or blatantly exposed. Never around Gerard. "Now that you're naked, I believe I owe you huge, right?"  
  
"That was the deal, wasn't it?" Frank let Gerard pull him down in his lap, and he could feel his boyfriend’s erection through his pants as Gerard leaned forward to kiss him softly, petting his stomach. Frank’s muscles were fluttering, and he was quickly feeling himself grow in excitement. "And just how shall I repay you, Frankie?"  
  
Frank leaned in for another kiss, murmuring against Gerard’s lips, “Mm, let me fuck you, baby.”  
  
Gerard pulled away slowly, his face screwed up slightly. “Don’t you mean that the other way around?”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Come on, Frankie, bottom for me. Our first time.. it’s how I always imagined it.”  
  
“Well you better start imagining it differently.”  
  
“Frankie...”  
  
“Come on Gerard..” Frank cut off the whining tone. He shifted to kiss Gerard’s neck, murmuring to him as he worked his lips and teeth and tongue over the soft flesh. “I want you so bad..” Kiss kiss. “I promise..” bite “I’ll make you feel so..” lick “good. Don’t you think I can?” Kiss kiss kiss...  
  
“O-of course..” Gerard stammered, shivering, and Frank could tell Gerard was totally getting lost in the attention his neck was receiving.  
  
“Let me show you how much I love you, baby.”  
  
“Okay..” Gerard’s concurrence came as a breathy whisper, and with it Frank brought their lips together in a long drawn out passionate kiss. Love, lust. It was reverberating between them, and when Frank finally pulled back, they both whimpered from the lost of that close contact.  
  
“Mm, take your pants off..” Frank murmured, nuzzling his nose against Gerard’s cheek before moving off the bed and hurrying to the end off the bed where his suitcase was on the floor. Frank blindly dug a hand through his belongings for a bottle of lube as he kept his eyes on Gerard, watching with darkening eyes as his boyfriend unbuckled his belt and undid his jeans. Frank climbed back on the bed to have Gerard arch himself off the mattress slightly.  
  
“You want ‘em off. Then take ‘em off..” Gerard mimicked Frank huskily, and Frank more than eagerly dropped the bottle at his side and took a hold at either side of the waist of Gerard’s jeans. Frank pulled them down slowly right along with the undergarments. He eyed Gerard up and down shamelessly, tossing the clothing to the floor.  
  
“Have I told you lately how perfect you are?” Frank grinned.  
  
“You cheeseball,” Gerard teased, but Frank only smiled wider at the slight blush hinting on Gerard’s cheeks. “Come here..” Gerard beckoned, and Frank climbed back over him, allowing Gerard to pull him closer into a kiss. And that kiss took all of the affection they held for each other and turned it into unbridled passion.  
  
"I love you so much." Frank whispered between the clash of lips and tongues. Their hips rubbed together, building up the friction between the two as Frank groped his hand around the bed beside him for the bottle of lube. Frank didn't want to pull away, didn't want to lose contact. But he had to, if only for a moment as he opened the bottle and coated himself with the lube. “Let me get you ready, baby..” Frank shifted from atop him and guided Gerard’s legs apart, moving to coat his fingers a bit more so he could prepare his boyfriend. Frank wanted Gerard to experience as little pain as possible, but Gerard darted a hand out, grabbing Frank’s arm.  
  
“No, don’t bother.. I need you, Frankie. Right. Now.”  
  
Frank was already on fire from the lust and passion and eagerness of the moment, but those words made Frank feel even hotter. He settled between Gerard’s legs and planted his hands in the mattress on either side of Gerard's head, moving to rub his tip at Gerard's entrance.  
  
"Frank.." Gerard whimpered. "Please.." he begged, almost breathlessly.  
  
Frank couldn't take the teasing much more either, already aching as he slowly pushed into Gerard's tight body, moaning as he did so –and if not just from the feel alone, but also from the low loud groan he elicited from Gerard’s throat. And that groan just made everything so much better, adding to Frank's arousal as he began to rock his hips slowly, wanting this to be more than just sex, more than just them getting off. He wanted this to be perfect.  
  
It was a night of pleasure filled moaning and noises echoing throughout the hotel room. Of kisses and needy adoring touches. Where pleasure was shared in overwhelming eruptions of bliss. They were together, and everything was perfect. Frank didn’t have a doubt or worry in the world at the moment, because all he could possibly feel was love and complete and utter contentment with Gerard in his arms as they drifted to sleep.  
  
_This is heaven._


	5. Chapter 5

Frank was sleeping soundly, settled comfortably in his hotel room bed. His head rested on Gerard’s shoulder and an arm slung over his boyfriend’s chest. A touch of a smile was visible on Frank’s slumbering face. It was a deep sleep, one that came from utter contentment. Lost in dreamland, Frank was completely oblivious to the sound of his phone ringing earlier, completely oblivious to the sound of someone now knocking at his door. Oblivious to whoever it was letting themselves inside his room. To the lights being switched on. But Gerard jumping a mile out of his skin in a very startled manner finally did jar Frank awake. Frank had abruptly rolled off Gerard when the man jolted almost violently. The rude awakening left Frank’s clouded, sleepy mind rather confused and pretty pissed. But concern for Gerard over what caused him to suddenly thrash awake was the dominate emotion. Frank propped himself up a bit, leaning back on an elbow and quickly rubbing as his sleep laden eyes.  
  
“You okay, baby? What’s wrong?” Frank looked to his boyfriend, awaiting an answer; though he pretty much figured it had to have been a bad dream. Frank didn’t get his confirmation, though. Gerard remained silent, sitting up and staring straight ahead, looking like a deer caught in headlights. “Gerard..?” Frank raised a worried, puzzled brow and followed Gerard’s line of sight. Frank’s heart practically stopped at the sudden unexpected sight of other people in the room.  
  
Bob, Mikey, and Ray were standing a few feet from the foot of the bed, mouths all slightly agape in surprise. Well, Ray and Mikey had the look of shock, but Bob looked more like he was bored. And there they all stayed and stared in an awkward silence.  
  
_Well.. damn._  
  
Frank didn’t know whether to be upset or happy over this little awkward intrusion. He had just gotten what he wished after all. His and Gerard’s secret was out. It had to look obvious. Caught cuddled in bed together. And while that in itself wasn’t so very out of the norm, his friends could see that he and Gerard were at least shirtless in bed together. Frank had called Gerard ‘baby’. And the guilty, shocked expression on Gerard’s face alone was quite incriminating enough to show that they were up to something together. Frank was happy it was out, but he couldn’t help the way his cheeks turned rosy with embarrassment  
  
_Well, at least I was right. Mikey’s face is fucking priceless._  
  
“Alright, what’s going on here?” It was Bob that spoke up, arms crossed over his chest, but his question was directed at Mikey and Ray. “You two can’t seriously stand there and tell me you’re shocked to see this.”  
  
_I fucking love you, Bob._  
  
Ray gave Bob a light shove to his shoulder, rolling his eyes. “We’re just surprised.”  
  
“Yeah, it’s just that ‘Ew, my brother’ shock.” Mikey mocked an expression of horror, before childishly sticking his tongue out at Gerard.  
  
Ray rolled his eyes again at this and turned back to Frank and Gerard, letting his question hang in the air. “So you guys are...?”  
  
“Together.” Frank smiled. He wasn’t afraid his band mates wouldn’t approve. They were open minded, but more importantly, they were his brothers; and Frank knew that they would support anything that made him happy.  
  
“Can we talk about this later?” Gerard ran a hand through his hair. “..Like when we’re not naked in bed.”  
  
Bob and Ray snickered, while Mikey cringed in that ‘I really don’t need to know about my brother’s sexual activity, thank you very much’ sort of way.  
  
“Alright,” Ray spoke. “We were trying to find you guys to meet up for a late breakfast and to let you know a last minute interview get scheduled for later today. Get ready and meet us up and my room, and we’ll order something, yeah?”  
  
“Yeah, sure,” Gerard nodded, and sighed deeply as soon as the three made their leave.  
  
“Oh, come on, that wasn’t so bad,” Frank gave Gerard’s side a playful pinch under the covers and then kissed his cheek. “A little embarrassing, yes, but you see? They didn’t say anything. They’re totally cool with it.”  
  
“I wasn’t afraid of that.” Gerard sighed again. “I knew they wouldn’t care. And our families.. I know they love us, and it really shouldn’t be a problem..”  
  
“Then what is the problem?” Frank frowned, worry suddenly hitting him like a punch to the gut. “Are.. are you ashamed of me? Ashamed of what other people will think of you?”  
  
“Shit. No, Frankie,” Gerard quickly gather Frank up in his arms, kissing his forehead. “I love you.” He loosened the hold slightly so they could properly look each other in the eye. “I’ve been being an idiot about this, I guess. You know how private I try to be when it comes to me and relationships and all of the public knowing. And it’s not that I didn’t trust the guys to keep the secret. But you know how it is. Secrets can easily slip out by accident. And I know it’s retarded ‘cause it’s not like we could keep it from them forever..”  
  
“I don’t get why it still has to be a secret from the world.” Frank still frowned and shrugged out of Gerard’s hold. “Don’t you want to be able to hold my hand when were out? Kiss me?”  
  
“Of course, baby.”  
  
“Then what the fuck is the problem?” The annoyance in Frank’s voice was clear.  
  
“I.. I guess, I’m just paranoid,” Gerard admitted, “You know.. how it’ll affect the band.”  
  
“Oh... And you think a bunch of our fans will suddenly hate us, and people will gay bash us?” Frank asked with a raised brow.  
  
“No.. I.. I just don’t want the focus taken away from the music and the message, and thrown on to us during interviews and shit. I just.. I mean..” Gerard stumbled over his words as he tried to explain himself. “I don’t know.. Fuck.. I’m being way too stupid and paranoid about this, aren’t I?”  
  
“Yes,” Frank smiled, “very stupid.”  
  
Gerard chuckled, shaking his head, “Thanks for letting me know you think so, babe.”  
  
“Anytime,” Frank grinned innocently and pulled Gerard back into his arms, kissing his cheek. “We should always be honest with each other after all, right?”  
  
“Right,” Gerard smiled back playfully. “So, since that’s the case, I think you’re a spaz.”  
  
“And I think you’re old.”  
  
“And I think you better shut your mouth, before I shut it for you.”  
  
Frank just giggled at the teasing threat and snuggled closer to Gerard, his words slightly muffled as he spoke against Gerard’s chest. “Well seriously, though, everything's going to be fine. I love you. And it’s not like we have to make any kind of official announcement or anything, Gerard. If people find out, then they find out. It’s no big deal. I don’t want to live a secret.”  
  
“I really don’t want to either. I’m sorry, Frankie, I really have been stupid.”  
  
“Very stupid, remember? But you can make it up to me somehow..”  
  
“Oh?” Gerard perked, “And how would you like me to do that?”  
  
_Fuck me senseless?_  
  
“Well, I was thinking we’d have time for a quick shower before heading over to Ray’s room..”  
  
“Why Mr. Iero,” Gerard smirked, “are you suggesting that we be naughty in the shower?”  
  
“Maaaybe....” Frank pulled back and smiled coyly.  
  
“Fuck maybe.” Gerard leaned close and nipped at Frank’s ear, also shifting a hand to rub over Frank’s chest as he began to speak huskily. “You getting pinned up against those tiled walls is definitely going to happen.”

  
**~*~**  
  
  
_Just don’t think about it._  
  
Now this interview definitely wasn’t a nightmare like the last one, but Frank had really been looking forward to having the whole day off. The whole day off with Gerard. The whole day off with his boyfriend. Still, he was a good boy and answered questions directed his way, speaking ever animatedly with his hands like always. Frank was in focused interview mode, but it couldn’t really be helped that part of his mind kept drifting off to picturing that very enjoyable shower that morning.  
  
_God, that was so hot._  
  
Frank couldn’t help but look to Gerard speaking and smirk. All he could hear now was Gerard’s voice filling his ears. All he could see now was Gerard very hot, very wet, and very naked. Frank’s gaze was completely locked onto the object of his love and affection, and it seemed now that it was a lot more than just part of his mind transfixed on his boyfriend. Frank had managed to lose himself to his own little ‘Gerard world’ yet again in the middle of a televised interview. But Frank was far too caught up to really realize or care at the moment. He moved a hand to rest on Gerard’s thigh, and though Gerard didn’t spare a glance back or pause in his speech, Gerard did covered Frank’s hand with his own and gently started to rub it with his thumb. Frank was pretty sure he melted from the gesture and felt his heart race more and more.  
  
_God, I love you._  
  
Just from those mere touches, tingles were sent through Frank’s hand and shot up his arm then throughout the rest of his body. An uncontrollable shiver passed through him, and he didn’t give a shit if anyone noticed. Hell, if anything, Frank wanted everyone to notice. Let everyone see the affection between them. Let everyone see just how easy it was for Gerard to turn him into a puddle of mushy love goo. Let everyone see that they belonged to each other. Frank was more than proud to call himself Gerard Way’s, and the drive to let the whole world know was beginning to course through his veins. He was bouncing his knees, drumming the fingers of his free hand on his thigh, and rocking slightly back and forth in his seat.. really for Gerard’s sake to keep himself from doing anything ‘impulsively inappropriate’.  
  
_You really think he’ll be mad? You love him. He loves you. You wanna kiss him. So kiss him. Kiss. Him._  
  
The next few seconds went by in a blur as Frank reached his decision. He wasn’t going to suffer living with pent up urges and desires anymore. Why try to squash something that felt so perfect? He loved Gerard. And if Frank really felt the drive to kiss him, then dammit, he was going to kiss him. In an instant Frank was out of his chair and straddling Gerard’s lap. He held Gerard’s face in his hands, that face appearing shocked at first, but a hint of a smirk curled at Gerard’s lips right before Frank pressed his own firmly against them.  
  
The kiss was passionate and heated. A fiery yet loving clash of lips and tongues, and it was absolute and complete heaven. Frank was lost in the feel, and those predominantly female cheers ringing in his ears only seemed to fuel the fire this time around. Knowing that he and Gerard were putting on a show only made the situation hotter for him. He was in the middle of an interview.. In front of an audience.. In front of cameras.. And he was making out with his boyfriend.  
  
_Damn fine place to lose it, Frank. Damn fine._  
  
“Ewwww.. Frank!” Mikey’s voice broke through to Frank, and he pulled away from Gerard abruptly. The two merely stared at each other a bit out of breath and both mirroring mischievous looks, sharing a giggle at Mikey’s woeful expense. Frank clambered back into his chair, and then he and Gerard just sat smiling sweetly and holding hands, like the spontaneous erotic display never happened. Whether people knew of the relationship or not.. that didn't matter. Just that they could be themselves and act open with each other was what matter. Fuck what anybody thought.  
  
“Well, uh..” The dumbfounded interviewer was apparently trying to come up with some kind of question. “Um.. Care to explain that for us Frank?”  
  
Frank grinned and gave Gerard's hand a squeeze as he figured the best thing to do was answer truthfully.  
  
“I just couldn’t help myself.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally written in 2008 under my pen name warmseptember. Edited and brought back to life. Hope you all enjoyed it. Comments are love <3


End file.
